A few summers ago back in college, in the midst of my 'recovery' from sadness and anxiety (a.k.a. depression), I stumbled upon this book displayed in a seemingly apparent space at the bookstore. The title interested me, more so, the cover was intriguing. I wanted to read the book right there and then, sadly, it was covered by a plastic that I could've easily destroyed if I wanted to. So I just settled with reading the appetizer at the back of the book. Not more than four lines were over when I placed the book back where I got it and proceeded with my shopping. What made me do that? I remembered what my councilor told me:
Do not dwell on sad things too much. Sadness can be addicting; most especially other people's sadness due to feeling like someone finally understands what you're going through because let's admit it, you feel like nobody understands you right now. Do not watch shows that depict other people's sadness; do not read books about the character's depression; stop using that tumblr because I know what it's like-my daughter has one; and most importantly, don't ever engage in a conversation where you talk about what makes both of you sad. Stop it. Those types of material and topics are for emotionally stable people, which you admittedly are not right now. You can enjoy them when you feel better. For now, why not talk about what makes both of you happy? Why not read and watch things that will make you want to enjoy life as it is- travel, eat good food, watch movies with friends, visit the museum. Go to the bright light even if the darkness keeps on following you around- you'll be surprised.
And what book was I eyeing on that bookstore? You guessed it- Thirteen Reasons Why.
MY #1 PROBLEM WITH THIS BOOK / SHOW IS:
the fact that it will NEVER be helpful to people who are experiencing anxiety and suicidal thoughts. ZERO. This book and show will most likely just romanticize sadness and death, like it's an art, and will feed from the anxiety the viewer is experiencing in real life. Let's be real- majority of the watchers of this show are sad and depressed people, because they are looking for something that can understand how they are feeling inside. The story is so wrong for people like us because this show justify Hannah's suicide. What i'm trying to say is, it justifies (that it's ok) to kill yourself because of how others perceive you and then you send them tapes to give them a lesson. Your death is their lesson, something like that. Get real! Wake up! WHY DO YOU FEEL LIKE YOUR LIFE IS THE COST TO SERVE THESE PEOPLE A LESSON AND WHY DO YOU EVEN THINK OF THEM WHILE CONTEMPLATING SUICIDE?! STOP THINKING ABOUT WHAT THEY THINK!!!!!! THIS SHOW PUTS EXTERNAL IMAGE INTO A PEDESTAL- TO THE POINT THAT IT JUSTIFIES A TEEN SUICIDE!!! THIS BOOK MAKES US THINK THAT WE HAVE NO CHOICE IF EVERYONE THAT SURROUNDS US TRIES TO HARM US!!! You want to know what's real? What's real is that if you commit suicide because of how others look at you, you're probably going to give them a lesson- probably haunt their thoughts for a year, for five years, for 10 years, for a lifetime maybe. But you know what? They're going to forget you and will probably only remember you for five minutes each year that you're gone. They will have their dream careers, their families, their houses, their dogs, their true love, probably travel the world with with them. And you? You're dead. You didn't live the rest of your life because your high school campus thought you were a slut- and you killed yourself because of that- BECAUSE THEY THOUGHT YOU WERE A SLUT. And now you're just a story people tell their loved ones about. And their loved ones will tell them, "n'aww stop thinking about things of the past. you're not like that anymore." And then they forget you. But you're dead. YOU DIDN'T HAVE THE CHANCE TO SEE THEM CHANGE DUE TO THE FACT THAT YOU KILLED YOURSELF BECAUSE YOU THOUGHT YOU HAD NO CHOICE WHICH IS A VERY WRONG IDEA!!!
Remember Margo from Paper Towns? Well, she hated the CITY she was living in. She hated her parents and she didn't give a single fuck about how others perceived her at school. She disliked her life so much and her boyfriend cheated on her. Guess what? She didn't even think that she had no choice. She HATED HER PARENTS AND THE CITY (not just her high school) and she RAN AWAY. No. She didn't kill herself. There's always a choice. You can always leave everything that make you sad behind. If your high school campus is bullying you- why not transfer to another school? RIGHT? THERE'S ALWAYS A CHOICE.
The story doesn't even focus on the sadness of the dead girl, rather it focused on the ones who mistreated her and their deeds. This show is more helpful to normal people who doesn't need any help. But for us, this show is ill-advised, more so, lethal.
